I’ll admit to several things:

First: I now DO want to date. I want a serious relationship. I’m not afraid to admit this now, even though many people find it desperate to do so.

Second: The type of relationship that I want is going to probably be a bit atypical…

Third: I’m an incredibly strong, vibrant, and feminist woman who…er…may want to be “Taken In Hand”. Yeah, yeah, stop looking at me like that.

There’s something about a man being a man that is incredibly sexy and right to me. I don’t want someone “sensitive” who runs around in a dashiki, getting in touch with his feminine side (there’s more to that story, but I’m saving it for a short fiction piece, heh). I want someone who isn’t going to be cowed, overwhelmed, or frightened off easily. A man that takes the lead. A man that courts me and has actual power, rather than a manner of being that seems kind of lazy and complacent.

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Perhaps it was the cranberry juice talking. I think it was boredom, and a bit of masochism.

Whatever the story, I decided to peruse WealthyMen.com and HotEnough.org, pretty much for shits and giggles. After all, who would date one of the asses from these sites? This trial took place over about 4 days.

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Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

In our pursuit of perfect, blissful union, it’s tempting to want to tweak a couple of things to speed the process along. A trip to the salon to change your mousy brown hair to a deep, sensual red is nice. A new wardrobe that makes you feel saucy? Great idea.

A new pair of boobs and lipo to catch the attention of that Abercrombie model wannabe? Not so much.

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Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

In my last column, I mentioned that it pays to be aware of your gut feelings in relation to physical safety. Now, I’m going to take you back to a major point that I’ve stressed throughout: listening to your gut to avoid unnecessary pain and heartbreak.

Ahhhh…but here’s the trick: how do you tell the difference between paranoia, fear, delusion, and intuition? It’s simple. Do whatever gives birth to love, not to pain, and you’re on the right track.

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Did you know that chastity before marriage is what all the cool kids are doing? Well, did you? Don’t feel bad. Neither did I. Obviously, most of us missed the boat on that particular trend- about 90% of us.

No, really, don’t feel bad, because here comes Dawn Eden! She’s the author of the new book, “The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On“. In a new interview on Salon.com (daily site pass required), Rebecca Traister dissects the overwhelming wisdom of this re-virginated wunderkind. Hey, did you know…

“…the nature of sex is it’s a physically sacrificing act: I give myself entirely to [my lover]. If you’re giving your entire body to a person without giving yourself emotionally, you’re creating a dichotomy. You’re setting yourself up to compartmentalize all your relationships into transactions.”

No, you didn’t know that, either? Well, that makes two of us.

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