January 22, 2007

Loathsome dating site redux

Perhaps it was the cranberry juice talking. I think it was boredom, and a bit of masochism.

Whatever the story, I decided to peruse WealthyMen.com and HotEnough.org, pretty much for shits and giggles. After all, who would date one of the asses from these sites? This trial took place over about 4 days.

Wealthy Men boasts “a verified selection of men making more than $100,000 a year.” Suuuuuure. Not so. Not even close, I don’t think. Men have to go through an arduous process to prove their income, and women are invited to send a copy of their driver’s licenses to verify that they are who their pics say they are- no impostor chicks, in other words. That’s what they say, but I’m a bit doubtful on both counts.

HotEnough.org, on the other hand, claims that you have to be “an 8 out of 10″ to get membership. They put your pic up on the site, wait for 25 members to vote on you, and then you’re in or out. After that, you supposedly have to maintain a rating of 8 or higher to keep your dating privileges. The preview pages of the site offer you no looks at any profiles, and the site actually looks pretty crappy and cheap. I think a halfway bored high schooler could have done a better job, personally, but that’s my opinion.

My ad for both was simple and fun, and I put up some cute, sexy pics showed my bod off pretty well (I was wearing a bikini in one). I said that I was 24 (hahahaha!), in school (no, not quite yet at the time), and that I was looking for someone strong and kinda Alpha around the edges (thanks, romantic erotica novels!). For HotEnough, I did have to submit a face pic, so I sent in one of my blue denim halter dress shots as well, because I think I look pretty hot in those pics.

I got a response from Wealthy Men first. The guy was fugly like woah. I mean, he was so ugly that I think that God started to cry when he came out of the heavenly oven. God then threw him out of Heaven to the ugly orchard, where he then hit every branch of every tree on the way down. But, hey! He makes $200,000 a year. Uh, no. The only other answer I get is one from a guy with no pic and absolutely nothing to say for himself. The selection of men is pretty lame, with an age range from 22 to 65. So, you have rich boys spreading herpes, midlife crisis sufferers cheating on their wives, and old men that really need to use up that black market Viagra that they got just last week. Lame site. Laaaaaaaame.

Their new ad campaign has been popping up on MySpace, as well. I wish it wasn’t. I wish that I didn’t have to gouge my eyes out, but I do. The women look like Paris Hilton on a bender. I notice that the ads targeted toward men are a lot more predatory in their tone. They say, “You work hard. Now play hard.” The missing comma in the last sentence is the least of this concept’s problems. So…your ad campaign targeted for women is pretty simple, and emphasizes meeting wealthy men. Okay. But, your ad for men is about racking up points? Let’s face it: anyone on these sites actually looking for someone who values their minds, not their bodies, is due for a major upset. Yet, it would be nice for them to at least be honest about their wealth-based concept for adult dating/vapid hookups.

What about HotEnough, you ask? Well, yeah. It turns out that I wasn’t hot enough. I only rated a 5.9 out of 10. That shouldn’t sting, but it kinda does. But…I have to say some things about this site:

1) Out of the first 300 applications to the site, only 50 were selected.

2) In their ads, they have NO Blacks, Asians (oh, wait! There’s a token Asian), Latinos, or Indians. In other words, there are no minorities. Usually, a smart ad campaign includes a representative sample of the population. Even if there were 25 minorities on the site, there would probably be one in one of the ads. Nope. Never. I think that the girls that hang out down the Shore in the summertime and have a tanning membership would have a grand old time on this site. You can be as selective as you want…but, uh, it’s gonna be hard to date if you have a membership of 5000 spread internationally, if even that many. That could account for the low quality of their site, along with the cheap advertising.

Lately, I haven’t seen many ads for Hot Enough. Even though they were featured on Howard Stern’s show at one time, I really do think that their selectivity is their death knell. And, they have special offers just for their members? Oh, like what? I already have good contacts for all the best parties in the city through MySpace alone. What the hell does this site offer that would make simple, hassle-free networking seem like a worse deal? I’m guessing not much.

So…my experience can be summed up like this: gimmicky sites are for gimmicky people. Do not try a dating site unless you’re really, really normal. Like, killer normal. Or, rilly, rilly HOT!

PS- this is the pic that I sent in for HotEnough: credit to Tarilyn Quinn at UnScene.com